Beating Premature Ejaculation

Last time we talked about how to control sexual arousal. This time we’re going to continue on that path.

We already covered that what you do with your mind is crucially important.

Now again, most people will tell you that you should think of something unsexy, like furniture or a coffee machine. I don’t think that’s a good approach, for reason’s I’ve already covered, and there really are better way to control sexual excitement.

Instead what you want to do is to totally focus on…

Sensuality

You really want to pay attention to your tactile sensations – but not just the stimulation of your genital parts, but your whole body experience, from top to toe.

At first this might seem counter-intuitive.

After all, when you focus on your tactile sensations, will it not just increase your sexual excitement?

Well, the answer is yes and no. If you do it the wrong way, then it will make your more excited.

But if you do it the right way, then you’ll actually be much more calm and in control of your sexual arousal.

And that’s what you want to do. As the man, you want to be the one who is in control of your excitement, and you want to get your girl to a point where she is totally out of control – and after that you can let go and lose control yourself. But get her to that point first.

Now don’t think about it in a totally erotic or sexy way – instead, you want to be aware of what is happening. Detailed, precise awareness and attention, but not getting all worked up about it.

The hard part of this is to stay in the right frame of mind.

Because on a subconscious level you always have the urge to ejaculate, to reach orgasm. Because it simply feels so good.

And this subconscious desire to ejaculate can really get in the way of you successfully controlling your sexual excitement.

Did you ever get a massage?

A massage that wasn’t erotic or making you horny, but was a very sensual and relaxing and satisfying experience?

That’s the best way I can think of to explain this. That is the state you want to be in when you’re having sex, because it will make the whole experience both intensive but also so that you can consciously experience it and control sexual excitement.

On a physiological level this basically keeps your body in a parasympathetic state, where you have an erection (because of the increased blood flow in your genital region), but the whole “machinery” that’s involved in ejaculating is not yet activated.

If you want to know more about how this works just get your (free) copy of Sexual Stamina Secrets.

There are three positions which are often prescribed by ayurvedic practitioners for men who ejaculate too early. I do not think that yoga for premature ejaculation will be enough for most men to totally cure this condition, but it can a supplemental activity.

Please note that these are not meant to cure PE – they are part of a package so to speak of a Ayurvedic remedy for PE.

These yoga postures can tone your urogenital area, strengthen your pelvic floor muscles and stimulate your prostate gland.

Important: While yoga can be very beneficial for many things, you should only practice it with an experienced, professional yoga teacher. Many people have hurt themselves because of practicing yoga in wrong ways, and it is of utmost importance to know where your limits are, and to make the yoga movements in a very precise manner.

I do not recommend that you just watch the videos and follow the instructions they give you on your own if you haven’t previously trained with an experienced yoga teacher. If you’re not in good shape, I highly recommend that you consult with a medical professional first and ask for his or her opinion on whether you should practice yoga or not. William J. Broad has written extensively about this subject in his book The Science of Yoga: The Risks and the Rewards.

You should practice any yoga pose only under the supervision of an experienced instructor!

Here are the three yoga postures which might help with premature ejaculation.

Sarvangasana – Shoulder Stand

It is believed that this yoga posture energizes your sex glands (testicles) and can be part of your program of yoga for premature ejaculation program. This is actually often referred to as the queen of asanas.

Contraindications – You shouldn’t practice this posture if you have any of the following:

• high blood pressure
• whiplash
• menstruation
• thyroid disorders
• angina
• spinal weakness
• arthritis
• osteoporosis

Halasana: The Plow

This yoga posture for PE will make you feel very calm and relaxed and reduces stress. At the same time it has an energizing effect which is beneficial if you often feel tired. It can also be beneficial when you have trouble sleeping or recurring headaches.

Contraindications – You shouldn’t practice this posture if you have any of the following:

Matsyasana – Fish

This is a good counter pose to the shoulder stand, as it opens up the chest and throat.

This yoga position can be both done with straight legs or cross-legged.

Contraindications – You shouldn’t practice this posture if you have any of the following:

Most men don’t ever think about this. They think their sex life and their everyday life stresses aren’t related to each other, and that PE is maybe genetic or something they just have to live with. But let’s look at stress and premature ejaculation, and how they relate to each other.

Effects Of Stress On Your Body

Stress affects your body on many ways. Whenever you experience stress, your body produces coritsol and adrenalin. Both of these hormones cause a wide range of changes in your body. One of the bodily changes which are induced by stress is increased muscular tension. If you don’t believe me, get a hold of someone who is really stressed. Touch their neck, back or shoulders. Chances are, they have “rocks” in there. Really hard, tense muscles.

Muscular Tension And PE

Now if you have hard, tense muscles all the time, then that’s called high residual muscle tension. And men who have a high residual muscle tension many times also deal with premature ejaculation.

Now keep this thing in mind: high residual muscle tension is not the same as being muscular. You could have a high muscle tone, yet be very thin and weak. Or you could be a really bulk, muscular guy but have a low residual muscle tension because you’re good at managing stress.

But how can stress cause premature ejaculation? Well, when you are having sex, what happens is that you gradually build up sexual arousal and tension, right?

That’s just natural – the more excited you get, the more intense everything feels, and the more your muscles tense up.

And muscle tension is good right? When you’re tense you have more control, right? Your muscles are hard. Isn’t that when you’re in control?

Actually no. It’s counterintuitive. But the more tense the muscles in your body are, the less control you have over your ejaculation. And the faster you will ejaculate.

Can Stress Cause Premature Ejaculation?

The answer is a clear yes. The more stress you have, the higher your residual muscle tension. And the higher your residual muscle tension, the more tense the muscles in your body will be when you have sex.

But we know that in order to delay your ejaculation, you need to keep the muscles in your body as relaxed as possible.

By the way: if you think that keeping your muscles relaxed during sex means not having hard’n’heavy sex, that’s not correct. You can use force during sex, the thing is, you don’t want your muscles to be constantly tight. It’s ok to flex them, but not to keep them in a constant state of tension.

How To Reduce Stress?

Practicing relaxation techniques regularly is one way how you can reduce the stress levels in your life.

Mastering stress management techniques is another way.

You will learn about easy ways to reduce stress as it pertains to premature ejaculation in Sexual Stamina Secrets. Get your complimentary copy while it’s still free, just put in your email above and I’ll send it to you.

In this article you’re going to learn how to prolong your ejaculation naturally.  There surely are a lot of creams and sprays and pills out there, but you never know what’s in them. Mother nature is probably the best healer there is.

There are plenty of herbs for PE that can help men to prolong ejaculating (and apart from the ones I mention here, there are also some herbal remedies for PE in ayurvedic medicine).

Wild Yam Supplement

The reason why a wild yam supplement can help you is because it raises your serotonin levels. However, don’t expect a miracle here – this is simply something you can do in addition to other things to help improve your sexual stamina a little bit.

Angelica Root Oil

This is an oil that you can apply directly on your penis – just massage your penis with this oil. It naturally kind of numbs your penis, so in that regards it works similar to many desensitizing creams.

Of course, you shouldn’t use this oil in combination with condoms, because oil can damage latex and make sex with condoms unsafe!

And if you don’t use condoms, then you have to be aware that this oil will not only affect your penis, but also your sex partner’s vagina. So it will kind of have a numbing effect on her vagina too, and that is probably not what you want. The combination of these two facts (don’t use it with a condom + if you use it without a condom it numbs her vagina) makes this pretty much a no-no in my book…

Clove Oil

Similar to Angelica root oil, and same problem, so just don’t use it…

Peppermint Oil

Same thing as with the other two oils.

Prolong Ejaculation Naturally Through Training

You can train yourself both physiologically and psychologically to last longer and delay your ejaculation.

You do have what it takes to prolong your ejaculation, and you don’t really need to take any kind of supplement or drug. They can help you to balance things out on a biochemical level in some cases, but the most important thing you can do is really to follow a systematic approach to training yourself to last longer. And that’s what you get in Sexual Stamina Secrets – to get it, simply put your email in the field above (it’s totally free).

Ayurveda is an ancient form of medicine that originated in India. Ayurveda is an ancient Sanskrit word which means knowledge of life. It is still most commonly practiced in India and Sri Lanka, but is becoming more and more popular all over the world as a form of maintaining good health. The ayurvedic term for PE is Shukraghata Vata.

As you can see in the graphic on the right side, vata (or vatha) is one of the three humors in Ayurveda. Now when you have PE, your vata is aggravated.

In ayurvedic medicine it is believed that disorders or problems shouldn’t be just treated with medicine. Instead, an ayurvedic practitioner will first do a diagnosis, and then prescribe a plan of treatment which includes herbal remedies, dietary recommendations, lifestyle changes, specific yoga practice (positions or breathing techniques), certain kinds of massages with specific massage oils and so on.

Treating the individual, not the disease

While in Western medicine the diseases or symptoms get treated, in Ayurvedic medicine it’s the individual that’s treated. That’s why there isn’t really a “herb for PE”, but rather there are specific treatment plants for each individual which has PE. However, you can even get some benefit from such a general treatment.

Ayurvedic Remedies for PE

Saffron-almond milk recipe:
Soak 10 almonds over night in water. On the next day, peel off the skin, and blend the almonds in a blender with 1 cup of cow hot milk (or crush them in hot cow milk) and add a little bit of saffron, ginger and cardamon to it. Drink this every morning.

Green Onion Seeds:
Add one teaspoon of green onion seeds into a glass of water and stirr thoroughly. Drink before every meal.

Ashwagandha-Bala-Vidari:
You will need to find these ayurvedic herbs, and then mix them in equal parts. When you have mixed them, take half a teaspoon and add it into a glass of warm goat milk, and drink this. You can often find goat milk in organic food stores.

Ayurvedic herbs for premature ejaculation

Medicinal prescriptions for PE are generally called Stambhaka. Among them are Ashwagandha Churna, Jatiphala (Myristica fragrans), Speman tablet (Himalaya Drugs,

Asparagus (safed musli), garlic and drumstick are the most commonly prescribed herbal remedies for PE in Ayurveda.

Ayurvedic dietary recommendations for Shukraghata Vata

Eat plenty of

• fresh fruits (especially banana)
• nuts,
• ginger,
• lettuce,
• cereals,
• fish,
• shellfish,
• vegetables (especially fennel, celery and onions) and
• honey.

Reduce or avoid

• alcohol
• tea
• coffee
• denatured foods
• processed foods
• foods which contain high amounts of white sugar or white flour

Lifestyle Changes

Not surprisingly you are advised to stop smoking. Ayurvedic practitioners also recommend restraint when it comes to sexual activities, and especially to masturbate less.

Ayurvedic Massage for PE

An kind of medicinal leaf bundle massage (Elakizhi) is recommended for PE. You can see this massage treatment here:

Yoga Positions for PE

The following yoga positions are believed to be beneficial for PE:

• Shoulder stand (Sarvang Asana)
• The Plough (Hala Asana)
• The Fish (Matsya Asana)

For more information on yoga for PE + instructional videos click here.

Now that you have learned about Shukraghata Vata, I do recommend that you get your complimentary copy of Sexual Stamina Secrets.

That look in her eyes after we finished sex. I pretended not to notice the expression of disappointment, but the fraction of a second that I glimpsed at her eye was enough to convey the message crystal clear to me – even though she was trying to keep it from me.

She knew that I was embarrassed and ashamed. (And I knew that she knew…)

This wasn’t how a man should perform.

So… was I a real man?

Or just a wimp, unable to satisfy a woman?

Questions like these kept haunting me at random times of the day. Each and every single day.

I’m telling you, the things premature ejaculation can do to a man’s self-esteem are… well, it pretty much annihilated my sense of worth.

Crushed every nanogram of self-respect I had into a fine powder and then blew it away.

Until I reached a point where I was actually worried that other people might notice it. I mean not just sex partners – acquaintances, friends, family members, random strangers. People who knew nothing about my sex-life.

But somehow I felt stigmatized. 

As if somehow all that shame and embarrassment shone a flashlight on my most humiliating shortcoming and and let everyone see right through me, displaying my innermost private and intimate struggles.

Of course, this was all in my head. But it still affected how I felt around other people and how I related to them.

Everybody who thinks that premature ejaculation is just a problem in the bedroom just doesn’t know what it’s like.

It get’s into every fiber of your soul.

I almost started to develop a bit of social anxiety around it.

Yep, I tried them. The creams, potions, gels and sprays… nothing helped.

And I couldn’t figure out what THE F#CK WAS WRONG WITH ME?!

I wanted to smash the mirror. Hit the wall. Scream out loud. Cry like a baby.

But I kept it together and instead drifted around in quiet desperation, holding on to my remaining little bit of hope like a kid holding on to the thin string of a colorful helium balloon.

I bought books. Read them, with a highlighter nearby. (Felt like in college all over again).

Some good advice in there. It just didn’t seem to work for me.

It was a vicious circle of frustration, humiliation, shame, self-loathing, desperation, low self-esteem, doubts…

I felt inadequate. If you’d hear the things I said to myself in my head… stuff like “I’m such a worthless piece of sh!t.”

I even went to see a therapist and paid her inflated hourly fees – just to hear the same advice come out of her mouths that I’ve already read in the books (and that didn’t work for me).

I think one of the most frustrating things for men with PE is that there are too many “councellors” and “sexperts” with fancy credentials out there who know don’t really know how to fix PE. They just have so many people going through their “treatment funnel” that some of them get better, and then they start to believe that their method is working, and for the men who fail, well, it’s simply because they’re not following the method.

This is a convenient way of thinking about it. And I guess if I’d have been in their shoes, I would probably think the same way.

But the thing is: I wasn’t in their shoes.

I was the guy for whom nothing was working, and it tore me apart. I admit it. The only reason why I became so good at helping men to overcome PE was because I was desperate.

It wasn’t compassion for others, superior intelligence or any other kind of benevolent motive. Nowadays I’m really glad and grateful every time when I get an email from a guy who told me that he had sex as long as he wanted to and gave his girl a great orgasm. It gives me a sense of fulfillment and pride when I help other men out of that pain.

But at the beginning, it wasn’t about other men at all. It wasn’t even about my girlfriend. It was a selfish desire to fix my broken sex life. And this is how I did it…

There are some books that share advice for overcoming premature ejaculation. I found that most of these books don’t really do a lot. I guess they are written by professional writers who got paid to write about about PE? A lot of fluff in them. They are well written, but the content and advice in them is often the same stuff you find in a man’s magazine, just written more elaborately and in a more sophisticated language.

But guess what, if I want to read for my pleasure, I don’t buy a book about PE. I buy a fiction book.

Coping With Premature Ejaculation (Barry W. McCarthy)

How to Overcome Premature Ejaculation (Helen Singer Kaplan)

The Natural Premature Cure: The quick, EASY, sustainable, no pills, creams or strange equipment SOLUTION to PREMATURE ejaculation. (Devon & Shaelyn McCole)

Premature Ejaculation Trainer: The Ultimate Guide to Last Longer in Bed and Cure Premature Ejaculation (Randy Rochester)

She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman (Ian Kerner)

This is a really good book about how to become a better lover, and it does touch on the subject of how to last longer in bed. However, it’s not something specifically for men who suffer from premature ejaculation.

Lasting Longer:The Treatment Program for Premature Ejaculation (Dr. Sy Silverberg M.D.)

Now this is probably the least appealing book cover you could give a book, but what I do like about it is that it’s an absolute no-fluff book, and instead provides you with all the information the author beliefs you need to last longer in bed. It’s structured in a step-by step manner.

Men’s Health Confidential: Last Longer In Bed: Your Guide to Overcoming Premature Ejaculation

Premature Ejaculation: From Etiology to Diagnosis and Treatment [Hardcover] Emmanuele A. Jannini

Now unless you are really, really interested in the medical aspects of PE, there’s really no need to read this book.

How to Make Love All Night: And Drive a Woman Wild! (Barbara Keesling)

One of the all-time bestselling sex advice books for men. It does contain a lot of solid information, including PE exercises.

A Short Book About Lasting Longer: Step-by-Step Basics for the Management of Premature Ejaculation (Robert W. Birch Ph.D.)

Kegels For Men – Advanced PC Muscle Exercises (Kali Bliss)

This is probably the worst PE book in the world. I’ve included it here just to warn you not to buy it. In my opinion this book contains some serious factual errors. What’s more, it’s written in a very wordy style – a lot of fluff, very little real content.

Now if you don’t want to keep disappointing the expectations of your partner and insteed exceed her expectations, there’s always my Sexual Stamina Secrets course. Sure, I guess I’m biased, but another benefit is that it’s totally free.

Premature ejaculation exercises are designed to help you delay your ejaculation and last longer when having sex.

Kegel Exercises

These exercises were developed by a medical doctor (Dr. Arnold Kegel) many decades ago, and originally for women. It was later discovered that they are beneficial for men too. They are also known as pelvic floor exercises.

Squeeze Exercises

These are basically about getting really horny and then before you reach the point of no return, you stop either you squeeze (or have your partner squeeze) your penis directly underneath its head. This helps to reduce your arousal very quickly. Then you can go again.

Control Exercises

Control exercises are exercises that are meant to help you to control your ejaculation in the moment (as opposed to exercises which are meant to train you in the long run to last longer). Some exercises though fall into both categories.

Edging

Edging is about stimulating your penis (masturbation, or if you have a supportive and cooperative partner then when having intercourse).

When you’re edging with masturbation what you want to do is to start at the base of your penis and then move upwards. The tip of our penis is where we are most sensitive. Just keep going until you feel that you almost want to cum (but before you reach the point of no return) and then go back towards the base of your penis and masturbate in a way that makes you less excited.

I go into more details about the right masturbation exercises for PE in Sexual Stamina Secrets (you can get a complimentary copy).

Ballooning

Ballooning is basically is an advanced edging exercise. You want to get as excited as possible by staying as hard and erect as you can with maximum horniness, without actually ejaculating or having an orgasm. If you’re just starting out, it’s very easy to accidentally ejaculate, that’s why edging techniques are recommended for beginners.

PE Exercise Books

There are some books about PE exercises, although I find that you can actually find the exercises themselves online for free (e.g. in Secret Stamina Secrets), and what lacks in the books is mostly a comprehensive system which is not just about physical exercises for PE, but also other important factors that matter if you really want to beat premature ejaculation.

Awareness Exercises

Awareness exercises are designed to help you build better self-awareness, especially about the phases you go through when you’re having sex. Being aware of your own state is crucial if you want to last longer in bed. They also help to increase the pleasure you get when having sex, while at the same time giving you more control over your ejaculation.

Yoga

There are some yoga exercises that supposedly help men with PE, although they should only be done under the supervision of a professional instructor.

ManDelay is one of the most popular premature ejaculation gels in the US.

The thing is that it works for some men, and not for others. Some men think it’s too strong, numbing their penis too much or making it feel like they are “wearing a sock on their d!ck while f#cking a girl”. Others say that it doesn’t numb the penis enough and they still cum too son. And again others say that it’s perfect, and that they last so long and have amazing sex when they put ManDelay gel on their penis.

So the effectiveness really depends on the people.

I think one of the reasons why ManDelay is so popular is because it’s such a low-priced product, and it’s widely available, so many men who have that problem (PE) just try it out. It’s also a big and known brand, so you don’t risk somehow exposing your man-parts to toxic chemicals.

How Does ManDelay Work?

The gel contains an anesthetic which numbs the nerve endings in the penis. So you basically have less feelings in your penis, your penis is less sensitive, as long as the gel still works.

Ingredients

The active ingredient in ManDelay is Benzocaine 7.5%.  Inactive ingredients are Carbomer Homopolymer Type B (Allyl Pentaerythritol Crosslinked), Propylene Glycol.

It’s a clear lubricating gel, in appearance pretty much like the famous K-Y jelly, but of course with the added Benzocaine.

Instructions / How To Use it

You just apply Mandelay ointment to the shaft of your penis before intercourse. After intercourse you should wash it off as soon as possible.

You can use it in combination with condoms, because none of the ingredients affect latex.

What does it feel like?

When you first apply it to your penis, it will probably feel a bit warm and is actually a pleasant sensation.

Side Effects

I’m not aware of any side effects for people who aren’t allergic to any of the ingredients. If you’re using ManDelay for the first time, I suggest that you just apply it to a very small area on your skin and then wait for three hours – if there is no allergic reaction (redness, itchiness, swelling, pain) then you can probably use it safely. ManDelay Climax Control Gel is FDA approved.

Review

It works for some men and not for others. Since you apply the gel to your penis before entering into the vagina, it can also affect your sex partner if you don’t wear a condom. So in those cases it will not just make you feel less, but also make your girl feel less. I guess that’s not what you want.

Also, when you look at the official website of the manufacturer they provide pretty much no information, and the product itself also does not provide usage instructions or dosage directions.

The main issue I have with all male genital desensitizer products is that they do not really help to solve the underlying problem. Sure, it’s easy to just put a bit of gel on your member, but when you use the right methods and put in some practice and training, you can actually learn to last longer, and with strong, hard and confident erections.