Why thinking unsexy thoughts is a bad idea to control your arousal

This is probably the most common piece of advice you will get if you want to overcome premature ejaculation: just think unsexy thoughts!

So basically they are telling you that if you want to last longer, then you should think of something like mowing your lawn, or an ugly fat old lady or arithmetic while you’re having sex.

Now it is true that this can in fact reduce your sexual arousal.

But it’s also true that it will take away much of the pleasure of intercourse. And not just for you – for your partner too. Because you have to really focus intensely on a washing machine (or whatever unerotic thought you’re harboring in your mind) to make it have an effect. And don’t you think your partner will somehow sense that you’re distracting yourself from the experience?

And distracting yourself from the sexual experience can actually backfire: because you don’t build up a tolerance to erotic stimulation, but instead you become more sensitive to it. So while this technique can sometimes lead to short-terms gains in your performance, in the long run it could do you more harm than good.

What’s more, if you’re actually thinking of something specific all the time when you’re extremely horny, you could actually start to subconsciously associate sexual arousal with that object or activity. Now this might sound funny, but unless you want to mow your lawn with a boner next time, don’t think of mowing the lawn every time you get really excited – you’re basically teaching your brain that there’s a connection between sexual excitement and lawn mowing.

Now again, I am not saying that thinking unsexy thoughts doesn’t help at all to control your arousal.

It can indeed help, and if you’re struggling with premature ejaculation, you might think: ‘Heck, better to distract myself mentally for 5 minutes than to ejaculate after 50 seconds.”

But the thing is – there are better ways of lasting longer.

So if you are finding a fix for a certain problem, wouldn’t you want to find the best fix rather than a mediocre fix?

The reason why I have created this whole project is so that I can share the best of the best stuff with you, not so I can serve you another rehashed version of the same advice you already find on hundreds of other of websites, and every third man’s magazine.

Let me ask you this: do you want ho-hum sex, that’s good enough to get you off, and every once in a while your girlfriend?

Or do you want to have mind-blowing sex that leaves your brain totally empty and you totally satisfied in a state of bliss? That kind of “reset button sex”, where you feel like born again and totally fresh out of the oven for the rest of the day?

My guess is you want the amazing, mind-blowing sex. And you simply will never get there by thinking unsexy thoughts. You’ll never become the passionate love-making machine you could be when you distract yourself with unsexy thoughts.

There are other mental arousal control techniques, and I talk about them in great length in Sexual Stamina Secrets.